Lately, I have felt alone in a huge school of people. I used to take refuge in it, and now i am finding it tedious and stressful just to sit in the same room as some of these same people. It's amazing how you think you know who your friends are, and their character, and their abilities; I am quickly finding out that I have a lot less friends than I originally thought. It makes me very sad, but I'm tired of trying so hard--- too hard to be involved in their crap. I'm tired of trying to push my way into their circle. For the longetst time I've always thought that I belonged in a certain group, but I am very much realising that most of them could give less than a rat's about me. People I thought that I would intially be friends with always, have turned their back on me, and chosen others, that, while they may be "cool" betray them on a daily basis. I sit in quiet agony, smiling and laughing, but I'm feeling terribly miserable inside. I don't much like quitting, but I give up on these people; until they realise that I AM a valuable friend, I won't waste my time feeling inadequate. I do feel like pi though, in that respect, alone on a raft with nothing but death at its heels and death sitting just opposite of him, staring with quiet malice. But I won't fret, because I know that the sea holds secrets that not even the fish can whisper about.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry.
I really do love you.
Lauren, you are growing into a lovely human. You are realizing much and still have much to learn. People are now as they will always be. It is you who will change and grow and evolve. I missed you in class today... Things are not the same when you are absent. There is a blank spot in my class where a smile is supposed to be.
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